Waiting for the perfect moment

I will wait forever if I wait for conditions to be perfect.

Made with Midjourney, more on that below.

I have fantasies of working long, luxurious days in a studio with large windows that overlook a verdant garden. I get to spend 5, 6, 8 hours alone there every day: daydreaming, writing, painting, thinking, and piecing together textiles. It’s a lovely fantasy, a place I like to go in my mind when everything else feels upside down.

In this fantasy I’m making absolutely prolific amounts of art and having to do zero administrative work. It’s glorious. It’s also complete and total BS. It’s a fantasy I hold in my head to let myself off the hook from doing work in the very small in-between spaces that I have available right now.

This place does not exist now, nor will it ever exist. There is no magical artist's studio where all of life’s responsibilities fall away and inspiration flows easily and time is no longer scarce.

I justify procrastination with: well, when I have my perfect studio, with the perfect light and the perfect amount of time to do my work, then I will do my work.

I live here, in the real world, with a one year old underfoot, with bills to pay, social activities to attend, exercise that must get done and storytime at the library. The time and space I have right now is limited, but “limited” does not mean nothing. 

I have been able to keep my practice almost daily for a whole year. Do I wish my output was greater? Definitely, but I’ll take what I can get right now.

Just, keep going. Is a message I find in my Morning Pages nearly every day. Even if today you get only ten minutes among all of the other chaos, I take it. I’m trying to let go of that idea that I must have long luxurious hours in front of me in order to get work done, and roll with the wild days that have been presented to me. In the end, it doesn’t matter if I get my work done in a calm, cool, environment, or within a wild torrent, it still gets done, one step at a time.

John Vogel of the Substack / Podcast, Talking Writing, included me in a panel discussion with a few other parent artists and the episode came out this week.

Take a listen, it’s very aligned with my theme this week of working in the in-between moments.

Parenting Roundtable With Bekka Palmer, Matt Buccelli, and Toya Gavin

Subscribe to my fellow panelists, Matt Buccelli and Toya Gavin below:

This week I took my first dive into A.I. and created some project renderings with Midjourney for a proposal I’m working on. Here’s one of the images that didn’t work for my needs. I would love to visit this building!

As always, you can support my work by purchasing baskets or original paintings at weareclosedonmondays.com.

See you next Sunday :)

Bekka