What is a home?
And how do you know when you are at home?
Some images from my very own home, which is a place I’m trying to allow for more imperfections and more joy.
Home is not a place, but you are home.
Adam J.K.
I’ve been deeply enjoying my own home now that the weather has turned cold. I’m leaning into cozy season and feeling grateful for this particular apartment and how we have settled in. This is a feeling I hope to carry through the entire winter and will need to be reminded of when I start to get that March / April cabin fever.
It does not take a lot of things to make a home, but it does take a lot of… something to make a home. Meals shared? Cups of coffee consumed? Couch stains? A soft place to land?
What makes my home feel like home to me?
The tangible things: worn quilts, books, pans and pots with burn marks on the bottom, food in the fridge, resources for projects on a whim, a space for crafting and cooking, freshly fluffed pillows, clean sheets, toothbrush, shower, enough food for a spontaneous guest at the table.
The intangible things: safety, comfort, peace, creative satisfaction.
Home is a place where I can…
Make and share a meal
Watch movies
Read
Just hang out with people or by myself
Work on a craft or other project
Clean up
Be sick
Exercise
Write
Make calls to family far away
Spontaneously have someone over
You know that feeling when you walk into an airbnb and know immediately that someone doesn’t actually live there? I think about this a lot, what is missing that makes it feel like a real person lives there?
These are some things I notice when I am invited to an actual person’s home:
A seat
A beverage offered
Worn spots
Scents
Signs of identity (art, family photos)
Things in various states of use
Half empty coffee cup on the table
Dented corners
Scuffs and marks on the walls
Basket of laundry on the floor
Cables! Functional homes have cables!
People, pets, plants
Most important to me nowadays is how “at home” someone else feels when they come inside. I know that some of this is a matter of how close I am to a particular guest, but if someone is willing to walk in and open a kitchen cabinet to get their own glass of water, that’s how I know I have made a home I want to live in.
Further reading
How to build a village by Rosie Spinks - Gosh this spoke to me so deeply. I am actively pursuing a life in community and will be adding a new habit or two in the new year to continue this path. I was especially struck by the idea of staying put versus being out of town.
What makes women clean by Anne Helen Petersen - I think about this post all the time when I’m having someone over to my house and I start a last minute panic cleaning session for fear of being judged on my moral character if there are crumbs on the floor.
What to do during the holidays
Some posts from year’s past with loads of ideas on spending your holiday week making some magical things.
That’s it for the… year. I’m taking next weekend off (it’s my birthday)!
See you next year!
Bekka